Dance of Seasons
Seasons are fickle little things. They are consistently inconsistent. They arrive on a whim and stay as long as they please. One day, you wake up and realize they are gone. And you wonder when they left.
I feel a shift of seasons in the biting wind and grey landscape. I wrap layers tight against skin and long for the return of summer.
I feel a shift of seasons in my struggling heart. I've woken up to the same little girl wanting breakfast for the last several hundred mornings. I will read the same Itsy Bitsy Spider book to her before nap time. I will fold the same towels that I've folded for the past 3 years. And sometimes I will cry because I really miss wearing scrubs and caring for my older friends. It's hard not to feel trapped by the stay at home mom label.
Life is a delicate dance of seasons. Some are drenched in golden light. Others are bare and broken. But all of them hold beauty. Finding the beauty helps me navigate the dance a bit more gracefully.
the beauty of Winter:
- Christmas music
- candles and copper lights in living room
- a stark white birch tree standing out among the grey
- the dog looking like a teddy bear with his thick coat of fur
- snuggling on the couch with my husband's twenty year old Christmas blanket
the beauty of Staying Home With My Baby
- rediscovering my love of reading
- a more flexible schedule
- seeing the big, wide world through her eyes
- becoming a better friend to Chad
- learning to slow down and enjoy the simple things
May you find beauty in the season you dance through today.
I feel a shift of seasons in the biting wind and grey landscape. I wrap layers tight against skin and long for the return of summer.
I feel a shift of seasons in my struggling heart. I've woken up to the same little girl wanting breakfast for the last several hundred mornings. I will read the same Itsy Bitsy Spider book to her before nap time. I will fold the same towels that I've folded for the past 3 years. And sometimes I will cry because I really miss wearing scrubs and caring for my older friends. It's hard not to feel trapped by the stay at home mom label.
As the tears fall and the frost kills, I remind myself of the very best truth. It's only a season. And I've never known a season to last forever.
The sun will rise hot again. We will drink smoothies on the porch swing and we will forget how cold winter can be. My baby will grow up and someday she won't need me as much as she does today. I will drop her off at school and I maybe I will go back to school too. I will forget how hard it was to be home with tiny people.
Life is a delicate dance of seasons. Some are drenched in golden light. Others are bare and broken. But all of them hold beauty. Finding the beauty helps me navigate the dance a bit more gracefully.
the beauty of Winter:
- candles and copper lights in living room
- a stark white birch tree standing out among the grey
- the dog looking like a teddy bear with his thick coat of fur
- snuggling on the couch with my husband's twenty year old Christmas blanket
the beauty of Staying Home With My Baby
- rediscovering my love of reading
- a more flexible schedule
- seeing the big, wide world through her eyes
- becoming a better friend to Chad
- learning to slow down and enjoy the simple things
May you find beauty in the season you dance through today.
This could have been me writing this! My daughter is 16 months old. The last while I feel as though I have been holding parenting up to the light, scrutinizing it, trying to see if it's worth it, counting diapers and lost hours of sleep and comparing it to the life before kiddos, seeing how it matches up.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't, and neither does it seem worth it looking at it that way!
I have been trying to do battle with the dragon of selfishness and holding him up to Jesus.
Sometimes it is hard actually s lot of the time it is and I think it is OK to admit that!
But there is also joy in the journey! Praise Jesus for redemption!
Good thoughts. Lately being a stay at home mom is the hardest,loneliest thing I've ever done. Hugs to you,it's not always easy for sure.
ReplyDelete