Honeysuckle and Potty Training
I could write about how I prioritized taking a walk the other day. I loaded the toddler up in her stroller with all her essentials, popped my earbuds in, and off we marched. Or meandered. You could be impressed with me for getting my exercise while pregnant but I wouldn’t advise that. Because the truth is I really wanted to run away. But since toddlers aren’t to be left unsupervised, I took her with me. What could be so traumatic about a Wednesday morning you ask? Potty training could, I answer readily!
If I read one more article or see one more book about potty training in three days, or how to potty train your child by lunch time, or better yet, potty training your child from birth, I may actually let out a tiny scream. And after that tiny or not so tiny scream I’m going to write a book entitled, “Potty Training in 90 Days: Honest Advice from Real, Human Mothers. Oh wait, we don’t have any advice. Some kids get it. Some kids don’t. Good luck, honey!” I expect my book to win an award for longest title if nothing else.
Prior to our walk, my toddler, who I have been potty training for the last 90 days, peed on the kitchen counter and the living room rug in the space of about twenty minutes. And I sobbed. Because after trying to keep my cool and be patient for 89 days, the 90th day of peed panties can crush a momma’s morale.
I sat at the kitchen table trying to pull it together while my nearly naked toddler sat across from me saying, “Mommy, calm down. Mommy, calm down?” That’s what I tell her when she is overwrought with emotion and I guess she thought that advice was applicable to this situation. 😊 I didn’t tell her that pregnancy, hormones, and irrationality can make calming down a little difficult. Instead, I decided that a walk would be the perfect distraction from our morning.
We checked the mail at the end of the drive way and in it was a beautifully addressed envelope from my sister with the pretty handwriting. I ripped it open and found the cutest handmade card. She had water colored cacti on it. 😍 Her kind words were a balm to my weary soul. I took a deep breath and began to feel like I would survive the day.
On our walk, I took notice of the little things. The air was drenched with the scent of honeysuckle. The soft sweetness of it reminded me how much I love summer. Vienna looked for cows in the field. We stopped to watch the water rushing fast through a culvert because of all the rain we’ve had.
And then, Vienna started sobbing the most broken hearted cry I had ever heard. “I dropped him. I dropped him,” she wailed. It took me a moment to figure out what happened, and then I saw him. Down in the culvert, floating merrily along, and away, was her beloved Arthur, the little blanket doll she has had since birth and treasures very highly.
My first thought was, “This is how Arthur is going to go bye bye. She can’t carry him down the aisle with her. Might as well part with him now.” That rushing water, that sounded so soothing, was quickly carrying him to his doom. And then, he got stuck on a rock. I stood there staring down at him while my daughter continued to sob her little heart out. I felt my “Aurther needs to go bye bye” resolve fading fast. To all the drivers that saw a pregnant mother and her toddler clambering over the guard rail, (since when are guard rails so high?) down the steep embankment, and into the culvert, just know that desperate times call for desperate measures. Please don’t judge a mother’s drastic lengths to sooth her child.
I fell into bed that night, struggling to process the day. It had been so stretching. So exhausting. But I couldn’t forget how perfect the honeysuckle had smelled, or how timely the handmade card was. The hard and beautiful things of life are so tangled with each other that our human brains struggle to make sense of it. Maybe it’s not my job to understand it... but I do have a choice in what I focus on. So I look for the gifts on the difficult days and remind myself that honeysuckle is still my favorite scent even when I find myself in a literal culvert.
If I read one more article or see one more book about potty training in three days, or how to potty train your child by lunch time, or better yet, potty training your child from birth, I may actually let out a tiny scream. And after that tiny or not so tiny scream I’m going to write a book entitled, “Potty Training in 90 Days: Honest Advice from Real, Human Mothers. Oh wait, we don’t have any advice. Some kids get it. Some kids don’t. Good luck, honey!” I expect my book to win an award for longest title if nothing else.
Prior to our walk, my toddler, who I have been potty training for the last 90 days, peed on the kitchen counter and the living room rug in the space of about twenty minutes. And I sobbed. Because after trying to keep my cool and be patient for 89 days, the 90th day of peed panties can crush a momma’s morale.
I sat at the kitchen table trying to pull it together while my nearly naked toddler sat across from me saying, “Mommy, calm down. Mommy, calm down?” That’s what I tell her when she is overwrought with emotion and I guess she thought that advice was applicable to this situation. 😊 I didn’t tell her that pregnancy, hormones, and irrationality can make calming down a little difficult. Instead, I decided that a walk would be the perfect distraction from our morning.
We checked the mail at the end of the drive way and in it was a beautifully addressed envelope from my sister with the pretty handwriting. I ripped it open and found the cutest handmade card. She had water colored cacti on it. 😍 Her kind words were a balm to my weary soul. I took a deep breath and began to feel like I would survive the day.
On our walk, I took notice of the little things. The air was drenched with the scent of honeysuckle. The soft sweetness of it reminded me how much I love summer. Vienna looked for cows in the field. We stopped to watch the water rushing fast through a culvert because of all the rain we’ve had.
And then, Vienna started sobbing the most broken hearted cry I had ever heard. “I dropped him. I dropped him,” she wailed. It took me a moment to figure out what happened, and then I saw him. Down in the culvert, floating merrily along, and away, was her beloved Arthur, the little blanket doll she has had since birth and treasures very highly.
My first thought was, “This is how Arthur is going to go bye bye. She can’t carry him down the aisle with her. Might as well part with him now.” That rushing water, that sounded so soothing, was quickly carrying him to his doom. And then, he got stuck on a rock. I stood there staring down at him while my daughter continued to sob her little heart out. I felt my “Aurther needs to go bye bye” resolve fading fast. To all the drivers that saw a pregnant mother and her toddler clambering over the guard rail, (since when are guard rails so high?) down the steep embankment, and into the culvert, just know that desperate times call for desperate measures. Please don’t judge a mother’s drastic lengths to sooth her child.
I fell into bed that night, struggling to process the day. It had been so stretching. So exhausting. But I couldn’t forget how perfect the honeysuckle had smelled, or how timely the handmade card was. The hard and beautiful things of life are so tangled with each other that our human brains struggle to make sense of it. Maybe it’s not my job to understand it... but I do have a choice in what I focus on. So I look for the gifts on the difficult days and remind myself that honeysuckle is still my favorite scent even when I find myself in a literal culvert.
Geneva, your book title may need to include the word, years... ;) maybe I wasn't dedicated enough, or the boys just didn't get it or what, but if you manage to potty train in 120 days you are waaaaay ahead of me!
ReplyDeleteGwen, by the way...
DeleteOh I can so relate!! I never knew "it feels like I have to pee!" could be such sweet sweet words until they come from a little boy (as he dashes for the potty) that you have spent MONTHS trying to potty train. Or that I would be offering up heartfelt "Praise the Lords!" along with his words! And I too have mopped up more than one little (or large!) puddle with the tears rolling. So hang in there...she WILL get it one day!��
ReplyDeleteLucia