Hello, I'm still here.

The calendar insists that its November 14th. My brain seems to have gotten stuck somewhere between June and July. I'm surprised to see frost, confused by the presence of turkeys in the Walmart coolers, and so weary of saying "please shut the big door" 3474 times a day. The past few months haven't been the easiest. I wonder if the disconnect I feel is simply my brain's way of putting a bit of space between me and the pain. 

In the spring, I kicked Depression out of the house for good. (I thought.) Several months later, it showed back up and brought its friend, Anxiety. Somedays it was hard to breath. Every night it was impossible to sleep. It spiraled quickly from there until my husband said "Please, just go to the doctor." Here's one thing I know. Its a lot harder to swallow my pride than it is to swallow a pill.

But the truth is my husband and girls need me. They need me to be healthy. So I take as many walks as I can. I swallow a pill before bed. I take naps when I need to. I write till my thoughts make sense. I do it for them. I refuse to give in or give up. Hope is alive and well. Some seasons, I just have to fight harder to find it.

What I really came here to say is that even though I haven't been writing in this space a lot, I am still writing. I have the rough draft of a children's picture book in my Google docs that makes me so happy. I've also been writing for Daughters of Promise every quarter. Those assignments stretch and challenge me in the very best way. 

But my favorite project of all that I'm playing around with is a fiction story. Its about a man named Jem, a girl named Evie, and all the ways love changes us. I've thought about this story and these characters so much that they are starting to feel real to me. I know full well that this might be a garbage story. But I'm passionate about the power of stories and if I have to write a bunch of junk before I find something worth publishing, I'm okay with that. 

 I need to wrap this up because my girls are starting to climb the walls. I insist they need a bath. They insist they need a snack. And suddenly the Hallelujah Chorus is playing on the bluetooth speaker. But I'm wondering what kind of posts you enjoy the most from me? Book recommendations? Ordinary life? Free verse poems? I hope to show up more here in the coming months. Thanks for reading!