Three years later...

Once upon a time, two crazy kids decided that the outdoor amitheater they found while exploring would be the perfect place to tie the knot. Her mom thought they would need parkas and earmuffs and his mom thought sunscreen wouldn't be a bad idea. It turned out to be a perfectly gorgeous day and no one suffered from frost bite or sun burn. The breeze blew the brides hair to pieces and the make shift mic gave a loud screech when the preacher asked them if they promise to love and cherish. But they got married just the same. The groom choked back tears and the bride grinned till her mouth hurt. (The bride is not that good at crying at appropriate times.) And this month marks the third anniversary of these events.

I really love being married three years! If I had to choose one word that describes this stage of our marriage, it would be 'familiar.' We've gone through some really good days and some really bad days together. And through it all we found our groove. The brand newness has worn off and it just feels so much more.... familiar. (I have reworded that last sentence so many times and still don't know how to say what I mean! I hope you understand.) Today, I thought I would share three things I have learned in the last three years. I can see you kind people who have been married a decade or more smiling and thinking, "Honey, you don't have a clue yet! Wait till you have been married x amount of years." Please understand I'm not pretending to be a marriage expert. I know I don't have a clue. :) But I hope that maybe this can encourage that brand new bride that is wondering what in the world she got herself into.

1. Be honest.
Sir Fredrick and I can be complete opposites. I think we should wait till next year. He thinks we should have done it last week already. I have this not so healthy habit of wanting to avoid conflict at almost any cost. So when we are discussing things and he asks for my opinion sometimes I would rather do anything than voice it because it doesn't match his at all. But I've learned he really does want MY opinion. Not his opinion reworded and spoken in a female voice. Everything just goes so much better if I say the whole hard truth of what I'm thinking right away. Once everything is out on the table, then we can work towards a solution.

2. Call it a date.
SOMETIMES we get a babysitter and go on a real date. I wear my sparkly flats and he wears his cowboy boots and we eat at a restaurant without wrestling a baby that's trying to escape her high chair. But more often than not our Friday nights involve things like going to Home Depot, picking up rent money, or painting an apartment. None of those things are exactly in my romantic category. But I've found that if I say we are "going on a date to Home Depot" it makes it a lot more fun! :) He gets that random part he needed while I chase the baby down the fridge and stove aisle. We hold hands and smile at each other. We take the mundane things of life and make them fun by doing them TOGETHER.

3. Don't compare.
My husband does not wash the dishes. He probably never will. But he does plan fun little getaways to a near by city. And he makes sure I have time to write. And he doesn't complain when I have a hundred things to talk about before we can go to sleep. It's pointless for me to compare him to my friends husband who washes the dishes every Sunday afternoon. He knows me and he loves me well. I will choose to love him for who he his and not compare him to what he is not.

What's the best marriage advice you ever received?