A Conversation On First Base
Well, its Thursday and I need to write something for tomorrow's blog post. I've debated all week about whether or not to continue Chad and I's love story and I've decided to take the plunge. Chad told me, "It's not a big secret. Our friends already know it." And he's right. So here goes.
After that youth retreat in September of 2011, Chad became friends with some of the guys from my youth group. He would attend our church sometimes and at first I never gave him a second thought. I just assumed he was there to hang out with his friends. But after a few months, it became obvious that he was there for more than just his guy friends. And I was not happy about it.
Here's the thing. I liked someone else and had liked him since I was fourteen. I was a CNA and had plans to go back to school to be a LPN. I knew I wanted a family at some point but I didn't see it happening any time soon. I was going to be a nurse first and later I would be a wife. That was the plan and this boy named Chad Eby simply did not fit into it.
So I tried to ignore him with all my might. I hoped and prayed he would just go away and find another girl to smile at. In June of 2012, his name appears in my journal for the first time. I felt so torn. I knew that if I left my guard down, I would love him in an instant. But I had no idea what I wanted or what God wanted. Another factor in my confusion was that my parents had separated when I was fourteen and divorced when I was seventeen. The idea of trusting a boy with my heart scared me more than I can tell you. I felt so broken and wondered if I was even capable of thriving in a healthy marriage. I cried and prayed and journaled but couldn't make sense of any of it. It was one of the hardest seasons of my life.
At the end of June, our youth groups planned a softball game together. I was playing first base and he was standing there waiting for the next person to bat. He looked at me kind of shyly and asked, "Do you have a boyfriend?" *Cue the romantic violin music. And then the music stopped abruptly when I replied, "Not really, but I'm not really available." I'm laughing as I type this! He teases me about that being a dumb answer. I tease him about why in the world he thought first base was the place to discuss this.
Looking back, its one of our funniest memories but in the moment, it was anything but funny. I had just turned down the nicest boy around because I had no idea what direction I was headed or what I wanted out of life. It was awful. When we left that evening, I clearly remember thinking, "Well, I guess that's the last time I will ever see him." Spoiler Alert: It wasn't.
After that youth retreat in September of 2011, Chad became friends with some of the guys from my youth group. He would attend our church sometimes and at first I never gave him a second thought. I just assumed he was there to hang out with his friends. But after a few months, it became obvious that he was there for more than just his guy friends. And I was not happy about it.
Here's the thing. I liked someone else and had liked him since I was fourteen. I was a CNA and had plans to go back to school to be a LPN. I knew I wanted a family at some point but I didn't see it happening any time soon. I was going to be a nurse first and later I would be a wife. That was the plan and this boy named Chad Eby simply did not fit into it.
So I tried to ignore him with all my might. I hoped and prayed he would just go away and find another girl to smile at. In June of 2012, his name appears in my journal for the first time. I felt so torn. I knew that if I left my guard down, I would love him in an instant. But I had no idea what I wanted or what God wanted. Another factor in my confusion was that my parents had separated when I was fourteen and divorced when I was seventeen. The idea of trusting a boy with my heart scared me more than I can tell you. I felt so broken and wondered if I was even capable of thriving in a healthy marriage. I cried and prayed and journaled but couldn't make sense of any of it. It was one of the hardest seasons of my life.
At the end of June, our youth groups planned a softball game together. I was playing first base and he was standing there waiting for the next person to bat. He looked at me kind of shyly and asked, "Do you have a boyfriend?" *Cue the romantic violin music. And then the music stopped abruptly when I replied, "Not really, but I'm not really available." I'm laughing as I type this! He teases me about that being a dumb answer. I tease him about why in the world he thought first base was the place to discuss this.
Looking back, its one of our funniest memories but in the moment, it was anything but funny. I had just turned down the nicest boy around because I had no idea what direction I was headed or what I wanted out of life. It was awful. When we left that evening, I clearly remember thinking, "Well, I guess that's the last time I will ever see him." Spoiler Alert: It wasn't.
I enjoyed reading this so much. Your story reminds me so much of mine. I was so mad at Ed because I thought I didn't want marriage, at least not to him, at least not at that time. I was SO wrong. And so glad that he kept pursuing me in spite of all the ways I tried to discourage him.
ReplyDeleteGina
So interesting! Please say what happened next!!
ReplyDeleteWe had to laugh over the choice of first base! But Galen says that was really smart of Chad- No one else would be close by... and he could dash off to second base without having to try to finish the conversation lol! G lad you decided to take the plunge! I never heard y'alls story...
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